Fade - Fighting Fate #3 Read online

  Fade

  A Fighting Fate novel

  By Maree Green

  Copyright

  Copyright 2014 Maree Green

  Smashwords Edition License Notes

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  Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Table of Contents

  Title

  Copyright

  Acknowledgements

  About Maree Green

  Connect with Maree Green

  Chapter 1

  Amy

  With one last appraising look at my reflection, I straightened my shoulders and turned for the door. I was sure my mother couldn’t possibly find fault with my appearance this time. I’d been meticulous, choosing what I was wearing carefully.

  As I slowly navigated my way down the stairs, I took a deep breath, making sure I had the mandatory pleasant expression on my face.

  Mom lowered the papers she was reading as I walked into the room, her gaze scanning me from head to toe. I tensed the second I saw her eyes narrow with scrutiny. After nineteen years, you would think I’d be used to it. Apparently not.

  “Honestly, Amy,” she said, her eyes rolling with exasperation. “Are you really going to wear that?”

  I looked down at the pair of designer jeans and pale pink silk blouse I was wearing and blinked. I should’ve known better.

  “Yes?” I said, now uncertain.

  She huffed and shook her head a little. “If you don’t start making more of an effort, that boyfriend of yours will start looking elsewhere.”

  Looking down at my six-hundred-dollar pair of kitten heels, I pressed my lips together, not willing to confess I thought my boyfriend was already looking elsewhere.

  Meeting her gaze again, I gave her a reassuring smile and fluffed my hair like she’d taught me. “It’ll be fine. I better be going or I’ll be late.”

  She gave me a curt nod and redirected her attention back to her papers. I guess I was dismissed.

  Climbing into my brand-new Porsche 911 convertible—a horribly ostentatious graduation gift from my parents last year—I drove toward Ryan’s house.

  Once on the road, I tried to distract myself from how distant Ryan had seemed with me lately. And the way his gaze seemed to be roaming when other girls were around. And the disappointment I saw every time I wouldn’t let him go past second base.

  Sighing, I turned the music up louder and tried to sing along to the song I barely knew.

  My stomach fluttered, making me feel sick. I tried to pretend I had no idea why, but I knew it had everything to do with the knowing look he’d given me when he specifically told me his mother was out of town for the night.

  Pulling into his drive, I climbed from the car and locked it, throwing my keys into my bag as I walked to the front door.

  I’d hoped to take some time to compose myself and make some sort of plan before I knocked, but before I’d even taken a breath, the door swung open, and I was suddenly faced with a grinning Ryan.

  My heart stuttered. That smile was always my undoing.

  “Hey, you,” he said, reaching for me and pulling me hard against him.

  “Hi,” I murmured, wrapping my arms around his neck.

  Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to feel. I actually loved the way he felt against me. I loved the warmth, the feeling of being close to someone, feeling wanted . . .

  His hands moved over my body, sliding over my ribs until his thumbs were brushing the undersides of my breasts. It felt nice. It did. It was just that I knew he wouldn’t want to stop there. I hated the anxiety that rushed over me at the thought. I wanted to be able to enjoy his attention, let myself relax under his touch, but the worry over how he was going to react when I said no made my stomach clench.

  I heard the door close behind me as his lips claimed mine. He kissed me slowly, softly, his tongue moving gently over my lower lip, making the unease inside me fade a little. I exhaled and melted against him a little more.

  Ryan chuckled, his warm breath making my lips tingle. Smiling, I opened my eyes. I loved this side of him. This was the Ryan I fell for when we’d first gotten together four months ago.

  Taking my hand, he gave me another little kiss before smiling down at me.

  “Come on,” he said, pulling me toward the stairs. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

  The unease quickly crept back in. I’d never been up to his room before. It was something I’d always tried to get out of, but the way he was smiling at me made me want to please him.

  I allowed him to lead me up the stairs, and he paused at the first door to give me another gentle kiss before opening it and guiding me inside.

  I gasped as I took in the room. There had to have been at least two dozen candles placed around the room, casting the room into a soft, yellow glow, and in the middle of the far wall was a queen-sized bed, sprinkled with red and pink rose petals.

  Blinking, I took it all in while Ryan’s fingers brushed soft, teasing circles on my hand.

  “Wow . . .”

  I didn’t know what else to say. It was truly beautiful.

  Pulling me into him, Ryan kissed me slow and deep, a passionate kiss that made my insides flutter.

  I heard the door close and felt him moving me across the room.

  “You are so sexy, Amy,” he murmured against my lips. “You have no idea how much.”

  He pulled me even harder against him, and I suddenly found myself being laid out on the bed with Ryan on top of me. Panic sprang up inside me. I couldn’t do this. I wasn’t ready.

  A voice inside my head growled, telling me to look around. He’d gone to so much trouble to show me how much he wanted me. We’d been together for four months, for crying out loud. I should be ready for this.

  Forcing myself to relax, I let him kiss me until my mind was practically obliterated. I concentrated on the feel of his hands, the way it made my skin tingle. That was good, right?

  My blouse slowly crept upwards, exposing the white, lacy bra I’d put on for this exact purpose. Ryan moaned. The sound actually gave me a little thrill. Okay, that was good. Thrill was good.

  The sensation of my bra loosening had my little celebration coming to an abrupt halt. Shit.

  No. This was okay. I could do this.

  I felt my bra peel away from the clasp between my boobs, my mind suddenly very aware of their nakedness.

  Of course, they’d been naked for Ryan before. Once. But that one time hadn’t ended well, and as I lay there this time, I had the feeling it wasn’t going to end much better tonight.

  No. I couldn’t think like that. I had to give this a chance. Give Ryan a chance.

  Clenching my hands in his hair, I pulled him into me, kissing him deeper. Ryan made some little noise of appreciation, then slid his hand over one of my boobs, pinching my nipple, making me flinch from the unexpected twinge of pain the action brought.

  I thought nipple tweaking was supposed to hurt in a good way?

  He did it again, obviously mistaking the little noise that had escaped me as a moan of pleasure instead of the pain it really was.

  Oh, my God. I was so bad at this. Why couldn’t I just tell him it hurt? That I didn’t really like it?

  I was so grateful when his hand left my boob, I didn’t comprehend
it was traveling south until I felt the button on my jeans snap open and heard the sound of the zipper.

  Just relax.

  I could do this.

  I broke the kiss, trying hard to compose myself. Stop? Go? Shit.

  Ryan kissed my neck, his lips soft and gentle, making me even more indecisive. His fingers teased my stomach, drawing soft, swirling, invisible lines just above the lace on my panties.

  His thigh pressed between mine, parting my legs even more, then his fingers crept into uncharted territory, breaching that delicate line of defense that seemed to have worked so far in my life.

  But it appeared my panties weren’t up to the challenge this time. Ryan’s fingers moved lower, his kisses becoming firmer, his breath coming faster.

  Shit.

  I couldn’t do it.

  “Ryan . . .”

  He moaned, sucking on my earlobe, but he didn’t stop.

  Turning my head away from him, I pressed against his shoulder with one hand and clasped the wrist of the exploring hand with the other.

  “Ryan, stop,” I said, a little firmer this time.

  He didn’t.

  “Come on, Amy. I promise I’ll make it good for you. Just relax.”

  His words didn’t help. I pushed harder at his shoulder and pulled at the hand delving inside my panties.

  “Ryan, I can’t. I’m not ready. Please, stop,” I said, my voice betraying me with emotions.

  He pulled back to look at me, anger flashing in his eyes when he saw I wasn’t going to back down.

  “Are you fucking serious?” he snapped.

  Grabbing my hand, he forced it against his crotch.

  “Do you feel this, Amy? This is the fucking hard-on you’ve given me for the last four months. You fucking owe me.”

  I watched him shove his way off the bed and lurch to his feet. Scrambling, I quickly snapped my bra back together and pulled my blouse back down to cover myself up.

  “I’m sorry, Ryan. I’m just not ready. Please, just give me time.”

  I flinched at the hatred in his gaze when he turned around to face me. “I’m not doing it anymore, Amy. Either you fuck me now, or we’re done. This is bullshit.” He stabbed his hands through his hair. “I’ve been patient, goddamn it! I’ve been waiting for you to be ready for four fucking months! Do you have any idea how much it hurts to be in a constant state of fucking arousal and not able to do a damned thing about it?”

  I sat up straighter and blinked at him.

  “Do you?” he barked. “Well, let me tell you, then. It fucking hurts a lot. And you don’t even care. You won’t do anything to help me. All you care about is yourself and what you fucking want—or what you don’t want.”

  “Ryan—” I choked, not exactly sure what I wanted to say. What could I say to that?

  Ryan shook his head and reached for the doorknob. “I’m done, Amy. Get your stuff and go home. I’m going out.”

  With that, he threw the door open and stormed out.

  The first of my tears fell as I sat, frozen, listening to the sound of his retreating footsteps on the stairs.

  Chapter 2

  Daniel

  The sun was just breaking over the horizon when the bus finally reached the outskirts of Sacramento. The ride from San Diego had been long and painful, but it was going to be worth it. I was damned well going to make sure of it.

  Thanks to the United States government, with its political dramas and sudden cutbacks in the defense department, I now had close to twelve weeks’ leave up my sleeve, and I planned on making the most of it.

  Unlike my other platoon buddies, who’d volunteered to take the unpaid leave, whose plans included getting wild and loose for the entire twelve weeks before we deployed to Australia, I was planning on spending the summer with my mom. The first one since my parents split when I was thirteen.

  Yeah, I know. Six years was a long time, but I had my dad and his super fucked-up need to control everyone and everything to thank for that one.

  I had him to thank for a lot of the shitty things that happened with the split, really. Like his awesome idea to separate me and my identical twin brother, Ryan. Because what else do you do when your ex-wife’s lawyer states she’s entitled to half of everything? That’s right, you choose to be an asshole and take it literally. Then you do whatever you can to make life as difficult for her as possible. Like deny her the right to take the son she left behind out of the state. Even back to her home across the other side of the country for a vacation. Ever. Pretty nice of the old man, huh?

  As the bus rolled to a stop, I grabbed my duffle bag and stepped out into the north Californian sunshine. Having never been to Sacramento before, I was relying solely on Google’s help to get me where I needed to go. I didn’t know if that was wise or not, but I hoped she was going to be kind to me. If she was, it looked like I only had six more blocks to go.

  Setting off at a brisk pace, I tried to shake off the nervous energy that was starting to seep into my veins. It had been almost two years since I’d seen Mom, and almost three since I’d seen Ryan, and the lapse in time only seemed to make the small path that acted as our memory lane even narrower, but to me, it was still a sweet path nonetheless. The small amount of time I got to spend with her each year had been like a salvation to me when I was growing up, and I’ll always cherish the memories we created. But this time was going to be different. We were coming together on our own terms. And it felt good.

  Walking up the drive, I smiled when I saw the front door swing open and Mom step out still wearing her robe and slippers. She squealed and rushed forward, barely giving me time to put my duffle down before she was wrapping me in a bone-crunching hug.

  I laughed. “Hi, Mom.”

  She pulled back and cupped my face in her hands. “I can’t believe you’re finally here. I barely got a wink of sleep last night, I was so excited.”

  I shook my head at her, but I was smiling just the same.

  “Now come inside and let me make you some breakfast,” she said, pulling me by the arm.

  Who was I to argue with that?

  Scooping up my bag again, I followed her inside, taking in the surroundings as I went. I was a little surprised to see traces of me and my life quite literally everywhere I looked.

  There were pictures of me from every year at school hanging in the hall, action shots of me in combat training on the mantle, a montage of me at Jiujitsu, covering every belt I’d earned, right up to the black belt I’d received in my senior year, and many more I never even knew existed.

  “Dad send you all of these?” I asked with surprise, nodding my head in the direction of a bunch of photos from last year’s graduation.

  She looked up from the pot she was filling in the sink and smiled. “It took some persuading, but yes.”

  “Hmm,” I mumbled as I wandered around the dining room.

  Sounds of footsteps had me looking up to see Ryan, my twin brother, coming down the stairs. He’d obviously only just woken up because he was rubbing his eyes like they weren’t quite working yet, and his hair was sticking up in a dozen different directions.

  He smirked when he reached the bottom of the stairs and saw me. “Hey, Brother. You just get here?” he said, coming over to give me a hard hug and a thump on the back.

  “Yeah. Five minutes ago,” I said, thumping him back.

  I watched him pull back, his eyes drifting down to my chest. “Jesus, man. What the hell have you been doing? You’re huge.”

  Glancing down at my twin, I did a quick comparison. Ryan obviously worked out. He was by no means puny, but all the hard training and twenty-mile runs I did every day had made me more defined and probably slightly bigger than him.

  I laughed. “It’s called discipline. You should try it some time.”

  Ryan’s eyebrow snaked up and he smirked. It was obviously something he did a lot because he sure had perfected it. It made me want to smack it off his face.

  “And miss out on all the fun? No
way, man. You can have your discipline. I’m quite happy with the way I’m doing things.” I watched him turn and wander into the kitchen. “Coffee?”

  “Don’t touch the stuff,” I said, frowning. I didn’t like the air of superiority he had going on. It was kind of annoying. Like, a lot.

  He gave me his award-winning smirk again. “Really?” he asked, like it was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard.